Dear Twitter,
No one cares. No one likes you. Oprah apparently has an affinity for your technology but truth be told Facebook already employs your status update, or "tweet." Honestly I believe you to be the worst and most useless use of the internet since Geocities- that in itself is another post.
There are things in life i would rather do than "tweet." Such as: poop, read, wear sunglasses, drink root beer, drink beer, talk to my neighbors, drive for eight hours, drink a "Jooze," drink anything, breathe, live, die, decompose, understand fractal geometry, enter a facial hair competition with Hugh Jackman, figure out basic geometry, figure out gravity, figure out why we use the word 'figure,' sleep, be lazy, be active, be.
I hate you Twitter. I hate how you imply that every person in the world needs to know what their friends/family are doing at every second of every day. You make obsessive and crazy girlfriends/boyfriends have a reason for being. You are a reason for me to own a handgun.
Sincerely,
E.
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